An influencer has opened up about her decision to take herself on a “solo honeymoon” and why she no longer depends on a man to enjoy her life.
As she entered her 30s, Brittany Allyn found herself longing for adventure and tired of waiting for a partner to join her for them, from traveling to having a family.
Taking matters into her own hands, the 37-year-old, who lives between London and New York, flew to the British capital in September 2022 to freeze her eggs and then booked her dream trip to the South of France and Venice.
The influencer, who has over 150,000 followers (@thirtywaves) is now using social media to share her experiences and encourage more women to stop putting their lives on hold while they wait for ‘the one’.
In a YouTube video published on Shera (@shera_oficl), a digital platform dedicated to empowering women, she talks about her commitment to “celebrating love and friendship” rather than pursuing a romantic connection.
“I think everyone has days where they’re like, I want that, the deep romance — but mostly I don’t feel any pressure to get married,” she tells Shera.
“I heard this quote once that if you married the love of your life at 50, you could be with that person for 30 years.
“My longest relationship was about five years and it felt like forever, so 30 years being with the love of my life makes me so happy, I’m in no rush.”
Brittany attributes her positive outlook on life to her parents.
She said: “I had really supportive parents, realists, and they’re just like, ‘Britt, we want you to experience everything in life to have so much fun.’
(Jam Press/@thirtywaves)
[They told her]: “Marriage is wonderful. Children are wonderful, but it’s not this perfect solution and it’s very difficult, not everyone gets a perfect marriage or, you know, perfect children.
“So they said, hopefully it happens, but in the meantime, live your life — ever since I was a little boy, they’ve instilled that in me.”
Despite her rosy outlook on life now, Brittany, originally from Seattle, Washington, hasn’t always felt so free from societal pressures.
During her 20s, she admits, thinking about “timelines” would cause stress.
She said “My 20-year-old self was completely different, I wanted to be a stay-at-home mum.
“I was in love with a guy I knew from high school and I was like, ‘we’re going to live in the same city and get married and have kids by 27 or 30,’ and I wanted some passion projects on the side .
(Jam Press/@thirtywaves)
“But I was just going to be a mom and never leave Seattle, but at 25 we broke up and I’ve gone in a completely different direction.
“I think she would be in awe and also think it’s pretty cool that what she thought was true in life was actually the opposite – everything you think is going to happen probably won’t.”
After taking her life into her own hands and defying society’s expectations, Brittany realized that a honeymoon shouldn’t just be limited to newlyweds.
She coined the term “me-moon” and shares her travels on social media with her fans.
She said: “There are so many places I wanted to go, but I was waiting for the perfect partner, the perfect relationship.
“South of France, was one of them, and Venice, Italy, went on a gondola ride, went on an African safari, now that I’m in my mid-to-late thirties, I’m like, wait, why am I waiting?
(Jam Press/@thirtywaves)
“People really loved that content, I think I’ve probably had a thousand messages from women planning their own me-moons, it’s been really cool to know that it’s inspired women to travel alone and I’d say you won’t to undo it.
“It’s such an empowering feeling to know that I was brave, I did this when I’m doing something for myself, you know, I’m an interesting person who wants to explore the world.
“When you’re on it’s less scary – I’ve made some videos to hopefully help women navigate all the nuances of solo travel, like eating alone.”
However, she has faced backlash from online trolls, but insists she is not letting it faze her.
Brittany said, “It’s always just random men who are trolls and I want, if it’s not clear, this site is not for you, so please leave.
“I’m not asking you to be a part of this conversation, but there are always misogynistic, insecure men making comments.
“For the most part, my side is pretty positive.”
(Jam Press/@thirtywaves)
For now, Brittany is focusing on her journey of freezing her eggs for future use when she is ready.
But with prices in the US far above those in the UK, she made the decision to cross the pond.
She said: “If it wasn’t a biological thing for women I wouldn’t be worried – if I was a guy I’d go to 50 and live this all my life, but I don’t think we can pretend it’s not there .
“Egg freezing in America is crazy expensive, and only really big tech companies or big companies usually cover it, otherwise it can be like $18,000, so I couldn’t afford it.
“[Talking about the first try]my body just didn’t absorb the medicine properly, my follicles didn’t grow, so after eight days I had to stop.
“Hopefully this spring and probably next fall I’ll try to freeze again, and then when I do, I think I’m really going to have a lot of peace of mind.”
(Jam Press/@thirtywaves)
Although Brittany is happy with the path she’s chosen, she knows it’s not a one-size-fits-all approach and encourages women to discover what works for them.
She said: “Now that I’m 37, I’ve seen a lot of women go down different paths and one is not better than the other, you’re not instantly happy if you’re married, you’re not instantly happy if you’re a mother.
“In some ways, I think it’s easier to be more independent and single.
“I can just roll over in bed in the morning, I can look up flights next week if I want to go somewhere, the world is my oyster right now.
“I definitely have real pressure, but one life is not better than another, I think you just have to realize that your life is unique and you have to accept that.”